Beautiful worlds…

I know a queen I never look straight in the eyes,
Beautiful is her name,
charming is her character.
Stunning are her eyes
Melodic is her voice
And yet I fear to approach her.


I believe she’s somewhere watching me look around, taking her time like an extraordinary princess should… Making my heart restless, ponder with imaginations of what an Angel she might be, wishing she’d just stop hiding, unveil her self in 8D…
Hold my arms and whisper in my ears, “Your search is over, look no further, for I’m here… Just for you”

But then… How can I have the courage to say it out loud
When my knees knuckle at her little chuckles
How can I sing of her melodic voice ?
How can I make the world freeze to stare at her Angelic body
How can I let her know that I’m falling for her each day that passes by

Everyday, unlike today.

Billz' words of thought

The day is still young,
Light Ray’s of the sun coming through your room,
You feeling the comfy of your bed, tucking in the blanket to your chin, letting it’s electrifying warmth flow over your whole body.

For a moment, seems like you don’t have anything worrying you, like your burdens have been lifted from your shoulders.
The smile on on your lips, like you’ve never known any troubles or sorrows in your life.
Today definitely has to be your day you tell yourself, so positive and affirmative in your actions.
Actually, you even had to look in your mirror, that lady of valor, did she whisper something to you ? Ahhh, yes.. she said, “today is your day, all will be well. No one will step on you today.”

Well… Not everyday you’ll wake up to this kind of feeling, some days you’ll wake up feeling down, asking yourself…

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A rainbow without rain

Billz' words of thought

If there’s any secret ingredient to happiness, your happiness… It’s you and has always been you.
I get it if you’ve spent a lot of time blaming and playing, craving and chasing, yet what you sought for was right under your grasp.
Even after finding it, you still doubted! Why ?
Everyone at one time had frights for that road. Yes u ain’t the first one, and I’m not saying it’ll be either easier or hard for you, but some people spend a lifetime figuring out how to go through opened doors…
Attimes they don’t believe, attimes they are afraid, attimes they aren’t ready to accept what lays on the other end.
Yes… they’ve for so long imprisoned and trained their minds to accept that their chains can’t be broken, but are you ?
Well, it’s ok not to believe for once, it’s not all times that your can tell…

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Life…

A husband’s letter

Hello princess, it’s day 1241 since we had a meaningful conversation, I’m really missing them, or you, or your sweet charming and soothing voice, I’m not sure which is which, but I’m certain it has something to do with you, or it’s just that I miss you altogether.

Lately, in ur absence, everything has been crazy down here. kids are flying all over the house like Spiderman as they try out temple run, I’m playing fruit ninja with vegetables in the kitchen, I’ve also learnt how to cook, or rather I’m still learning, which makes me regret not taking your cooking lessons seriously🤭🙈

Our babies are also growing faster, can you imagine! little Ella learnt how to speak properly, she keeps on asking for you and looking at your pictures in their bedroom, she wonders what you look like now, probably an Angel.

And Valerie, well Val has always been Val, she changed a lot over the past few years, she keeps on checking at the door… the door…😞 , she’s never gotten over the fact of things as they are now, she still imagines you walking in with presents for her birthday… It’s her wish, deep down she’s hurting, Ella doesn’t feel that coz she didn’t see a lot of you, but I understand Val’s pain, it’s a pain she and I share…

You know, I recall our last date, it brings back lots of memories btw. It’s the day I realized what a baby you were, how vulnerable and fragile you’d been, and yet stood your solid ground to defend what was right.
I recall you in that red dress, all sitting majestically with a crescent smile I can never forget.
I also miss the long walks we used to take, the late night chats we used to have, and the pillow fights, to be honest, it’s not just the date, but, each moment we shared together. I recall all the days we had to ourselves.

Each day that goes by, I never ceases to imagine what life would be with you by my side. Oh, you know, there’s one thing you never got to tell me, wether I was still that hot guy with a hard confident look you met in the first place, but I believe you can’t tell me that now, at least not yet… And I’m not even sure when.

If it wasn’t for anything, for our little girls, I’d make  ways to come join you, to be by your side, for 3 years away from you has been hurting… It’s been weary and I’ve never had the courage to move on, I still want to cling onto our precious moments, I know you’ll definitely be against it, it’s what you always told me, but how can I?

Once you asked me what I’ll tell them about you when they are grown, what I’ll tell them about you, and this has got me thinking a lot of late. I’ve been thinking about what response I’d have given you then when I kept quiet, when I ran out of that room in fear…

Well, this is what I’d tell them. I’d tell our daughters that their mum was a courageous woman who never faltered her stand. Their mum was an incredible woman who was willing to offer the whole world for them, for the people she loved and cared about. I’ll tell our daughters… Not a single day went by without you checking on them in their sleep, or silently waking up in the night to watch me snore my lungs out😂🙈

When I look back, I’ll tell my daughters that before heaven stole you from us, you were that lucky charm, that one Angel I met who changed your life forever. You were my one and only special woman. I’ll tell my daughters, you were my special little  princess.

Yours, Prince Charming ✍

Young in Love

Call me a coward, fool… I willingly accept
I’ve been called worse, but am not to blame
Blame it all on my little heart that gets timid whenever his around
the many masks I wear for each day
Or rather on the many defenses that crumble just at the sight of his deep brown eyes
Eyes that see right through me, and make me sprint,
Eyes that make me build a fortress so thick
And compel me to wear a bitchy attitude as my second skin,
Brushing off the fact that at the captivating sight of his dimpled smile, my heart skips beats.
With all the emotional turmoil that goes on in my mind and heart
Trying to find excuses to push him away, hurt him so bad , that he doesn’t see the real me
And with him walking away…
My stupid little heart still hoping that he’ll see right through my facade…. Right through my little games

Barbz✨

Let’s make history

Tonight
let’s scream on top of our voices
let’s light up the world
Let the skies turn red with love
Can we burn calories like there’s no tomorrow
Let the fire burn so bright
Let the world know of our pains,  cries and tears…
But let it also know of our love, goodness and craziness
Can we she’d off some negative energy
And embrace the positivity in living and giving
Let’s take charge,  let’s be crazy.
Together…
Can we make history

What next

Life should never be hard on any of us, but what if you have no choice ?🤷🏾‍♂️

Of late, I’ve been waking up late (close to 1100 or 1200 hrs🙈) in my small cozy bed 🛏️, even had moments where I wish not to just get up😴😴, and when I had to, well guess what? I’ve also had some revision📚 apparently for my ‘now’ online💻 classes📝 which not only I, but also my coursemates still find a little difficult to adjust to (of course we must, we have no option).

I get to wake up to some pleasant  breakfast🥪🍉☕😋 (just bragging😁), Sit down to check for any updates from my chatrooms and stare in the blur👀 for a moment wondering… When will this end?🤷🏾‍♂️ Read a novel📖, play a video game🎮, sit outside in the evenings, watch the sunset over our neighbors’ rooftops, watch🔭 the moon🌘 come out looking so crescent and cute, accompanied with lovely stars💫. Oh, not to forget, I’ve been doing movies🎬 aswell, lots of them to be sure and I think I could run one more month to exhaust all of them🙈🤭

This… this has been my awkward routine🤦🏾‍♂️, for the past couple of weeks and yet to some of you it’s probably and definitely been longer☹️. Waking up knowing that today for some reason, is going to be just like yesterday… boring😒, and asking yourself when this will all end as you doze off quite often. And of course, keeping indoors. In a snapshot📷, all this looks like some weird movie🧟 where we’ve been made characters🙍🏾‍♂️ without knowing, can you imagine!🙆🏾‍♂️

But not a day🌅 has gone by when I’ve not had those silent moments🙎🏾‍♂️, moments in which I’ve missed my friends🤼‍♂️, my crazy days🎭 the funny hustles🚵🏾‍♂️, the night hangouts…🍻🥂 I’m missing my ordinary life💯 things I’m used to, and I guess we all are, something has been taken away from us right now. But then, as my eyes glow and fill up with trinklets of tears about these days, in these silent moments, my mind is also left to wonder🦋 off to the things that mattered, yet I seemed not to care about, things which defined me.

To myself I’ve told my self this is my chance to look back into my goal planner📅 ( which most of us have I believe), where do I see myself after this…🤷🏾‍♂️ what am I getting from it… After this moment, what matters most in my life, who and what comes first ? Am I placing myself first before anything else ? True everyone matters, but when was the last time🕠 I ever had for myself other than today like this ?

At exactly 0416hrs E.A.T, when I’ve not yet had an ounce of sleep the entire day (just being a little dramatic 🤭), and I don’t know wether what I’m Writing makes any sense, wether you are able to get the gist of it all… But at least have this in your mind, when was the last time you had time for yourself ? When was the last time all you thought about was just you? When was the last time you negated all the noise, and kept akimbo just to take in the stillness of everything , to hear the sound of the wind, to listen to a beautiful breeze play a sound of music, when was the last time you thought about organizing your affairs, your objectives and your goals ? I’m not your

It may sound weird per say, but after all this crisis, what’s your next move👣, what next in your life…?

A beautiful world

A beautiful world it was, a beautiful world it is, a beautiful world it can still be.
Mama, why are we are dying young and slowly inspite of our vibrant energy ? The world we knew, isn’t what it is anymore! It’s unfaded beauty,  what did we make of it? Back in the days we joyed and prejudiced ourselves in humanity, but where is all that pride now ?

Currently we are envisaged in fear, panic and terror… We are overshadowed in “a man eat man” world. Long and gone are the days we joined and united hands to stand together, perhaps this is that time! Gone are the days we’d sit together on one round table and enjoy a nice made meal together, we now prefer eating behind well tucked in curtains.

The rich are thriving on the poor, the stronger are enslaving the weak, honesty has become an object of weakness, and transparency is a sign of backwardness. This is how far we’ve gone. Scavenging upon another like ruthless animals. Giving a hand with a calculated move. We don’t help without expectations.

We seem to forget that all this we fight for, we leave behind. We forget the journey laid before us. May be this just our nature, being Self centered… Or may be this is the time… Perhaps now is the time to act, to stand as one. Now is the time for self reflection on where we are now, and where we want to be. Now is the time for human solidarity, brotherhood and firmness. It’s here that we look upon our errors and realize how quick we are susceptible to attacks if we aren’t one. It’s upon this moment we look back at our mistakes and rectify them. Now is when we stop pointing fingers to one another.

At this point, this precise moment, when we realize we’ve lost lots of friends, time, moments. We’ve lost part of ourselves, most of what makes us. We’ve been broken as a race. The worst in us has been brought out in the light.

Well, good news, this doesn’t have to be the end. There is always hope. We can live a better life, we can retrace our footsteps, we can be whole again. Everything can still be beautiful as it was. Birds can fly and we hear them whirling. The sky can still look much more prettier. Everyday, you may rise up with a great purpose.  We deserve another chance.

A quick one for you, what next after this ?

A new dawn

Billz' words of thought

They say every sunrise is unique💖
But there is more beauty in it’s gloam✨💫
Perhaps coz how you start your day,
isn’t what matters🙅
or that the morning aurora may be deceitful…✌️
But at least you are you are certain
when it crepuscles,☄️☄️
Not that you had a great day👺
Or expecting to have one💔
but for the twilight🌬️…
it hides your fears🙈 and tears😢
and dawns🌨️🌧️ on you
new hope for a new morrow🌻🌹

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